Are you confused? After all, you love him and want to be with him. But he gets angry and says and does things that hurt you. Not always hurting your body but hurting your very soul. You excuse his actions because it’s only when he’s been drinking …or when the baby cries… or when you don’t have enough money…or… Are you scared? Are you living in an abusive relationship?
Too often women who have experienced abuse in an intimate relationship express confused feelings and thoughts. Many are not even sure if their partner’s actions are abusive!
“ABUSE” in a relationship is intentional, repeated acts
which cause physical OR emotional harm.
If you are afraid of your partner, do not ignore the warning signs…
15 Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship
- A PUSH FOR QUICK INVOLVEMENT: Comes on very strong claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by anyone.” Asks you to move in with him after only a few dates.
- JEALOUSY: He’s excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly.
- CONTROLLING: Interrogates you intensely about who you have talked to, and where you were, checks mileage on your car, keeps all the money, insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.
- UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Expects you to be the ‘perfect woman’ and to meet his every need. Wants you dressed up, the house clean and the kids quiet…
- ISOLATION: Tries to cut you off from family and friends, deprives you of a phone or car. Tries to prevent you from holding a job.
- BLAMES OTHERS FOR MISTAKES: ‘The boss’, ‘you’ – it’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong. Never takes responsibility for his part in a problem.
- MAKES EVERYONE ELSE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS FEELINGS: He says, “You make me angry,” instead of “I’m angry”. He blames you for his unhappiness.
- HYPERSENSITIVITY: Is easily insulted. He’ll rant about injustices that are just part of life. Everything that happens is about him and the world is against him.
- CRUELTY TO ANIMALS AND TO CHILDREN: Kills or punishes animals brutally. May expect children to do things way beyond their ability or tease them until they cry.
- PLAYFUL USE OF FORCE DURING SEX: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; says he finds the idea of rape exciting.
- VERBAL ABUSE: Constantly criticizes you or says cruel things, curses, calls you ugly names. “You can’t do anything right”; “You are so stupid you could never survive without me”; “No one else would have you”
- RIGID SEX ROLES: Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
- SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS: Quickly switches from sweetly loving to explosively violent.
- PAST BATTERING: Admits hitting women in the past but says she brought it on.
- THREATS OF VIOLENCE: Makes statements such as, “I’ll break your neck!”, then dismisses them with “I didn’t really mean it.”
Do you need help or you just need someone to listen? If you are single mother with young children, Midland Fair Havens might be able to help you to build a future for your family. Please feel free to call us at 432.689.3411 for more information concerning our services and qualifying criteria.
YOU NEVER DESERVE TO BE ABUSED!
Only you can take control of your situation to protect yourself and your children. An abusive man has to want to change himself. You can’t fix him by nagging, begging, pleading or arguing. But there is HOPE!
You can take steps to
protect yourself and your children and
you don’t have to do it alone.
Midland Fair Havens partners with Safe Place of the Permian Basin to offer protective shelter, guidance and counseling for women that are in
A quick call to their
24 hour hotline at 432-570-1465
can get you on the path to
safety and peace for you and your family.
Please call today! Tomorrow could be too late…